we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
