take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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