I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
