Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
