Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Randomize
