everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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