Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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