he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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