Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
