she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Randomize
