I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
