I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
