I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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