I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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