You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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