if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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