it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
there is puke in my bra ... again
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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