I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
