dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
