Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize