i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Randomize
