the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
i think i just lost a toe
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
