So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
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