yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
