It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
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