I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
