so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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