Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
We are two peas in an std pod
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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