are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Randomize
