he puts the penis in happiness.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
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