I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
