I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
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