it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
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