my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
