She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Randomize
