oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I need a beard to bite.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
