You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
