Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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