His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
