Dual....:-)
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
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