sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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