she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
