hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
