So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
