this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
