If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
