is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Randomize
