i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
