so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
