a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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