I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Panties = found
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
