Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
